There are many reasons for hiring a private investigator but did you also know that investigation work can also save marriages?
Although a fair chance of clients employ us to gather evidence in securing a divorce, seeking reasonable alimonies or custodies of children and pets, an occasional few come to seek evidence to expose flaws in a troubled relationship. From there, they strive to break down all barriers between them so that honest communication can flow once again. As contradictory as this may sound, this is very much the main drive in keeping relationships back in shape.
Unfortunately, saving marriages is not our direct work scope. As much as we want relationships to eventually work out, the end result is still largely dependant on the client's willingness and readiness to seek a reconciliatory and restorative approach to their troubled relationship.
are already in a position buried under lies and deceit, and regardless of floating rumours or mere suspicions, the spouse will always deny them all until concrete evidence has been found.
such as suspicious phone calls, emails, SMSes, hair strands found in the car, perfume on clothes, tip-offs from colleagues or friends do not constitute as what we deem 'irrefutable evidence'.
By gathering the needed evidence, it 'grants' you a chance of total honesty with your spouse to rebuild your relationship. Emotions may get the better of you but approaching the matter in a calm manner is especially needed if you desire to save your relationship.
Remember that the objective is not to push your cheating spouse away to the other party but to draw him/her back.
The basic principles below might apply to you should you wish to seek a reconciliatory path:
If your attempt to save the marriage does not work, at least you can have a peace of mind after confirming your suspicions; rather than letting them fuel your anger and revenge, which affects your mood, work performance and eventually mental and emotional health.
- Assurance of forgiveness to the cheating spouse before confrontation
- Acknowledgement that your relationship may require help and possibly counselling
- Willingness to acknowledge that any breakdown in relationship is a fault of both parties or a case of unfulfilled needs
- Allowing the cheating spouse to 'wrap' up issues with the other party if he's willing to work it out with you. This may be extremely difficult to proceed with but remember that now you have hit the rock bottom, anything else will be on the way up if he is willing to break off with the other party to work things out
- Understanding that Time, and I mean a lot of time, will be required to rebuild the relationship