Previously we mentioned in our article on
Who is more likely to be a cheating spouse that in Singapore, the statistics for
cheating spouses are around 60% males and 40% females, as well as that the percentage
of cheating wives has been increasing over the years.
Now, how could this be so? It can all be attributed to the shifting gender roles in the society
as well as increased education and gender equality. With women becoming more affluent
or having 'power' roles in the working industry, they have more means and dough to be
able to do what they want, when they want. Of course, we are totally not putting the
blame on the human species with the XX chromosomes. What we do mean is that with this
new change in the role of women, equals to lesser time of interaction with the spouse
and more with office colleagues or business partners instead.
Think of it this way, as we previously mentioned in our section on
Adultery that such extramarital acts occur as a combined result of the 3 elements
Opportunity. That would effectively define the act in the spur of the moment.
But how can we describe what happened before in order to lead to this outcome? Now we
come again to quote from another article on
Signs that your spouse is having an affair that the
'Sudden decrease in time, intimacy and interest in you',
'Sudden lack of information-sharing with you' and
'Sudden change in behaviour or outward appearance' are 3 generic signs from
where cheating can be visually detected.
Having quoted all these, what's the link to that, you might ask? With reference to the Law,
all crimes need 2 elements in order for it to be constituted as one. They are the
which can be simplified as the motive or thought behind a crime and the act of it respectively.
Well firstly, a spouse is unable to just commit adultery in the heat of the moment with
no other factors involved (I believe so?) and it is pretty logical that it is sure that
there will be prior interactions, contact and communication that might lead to the thought
of committing adultery. Adultery indeed, has to have the thought behind it. We will explain
In the previous paragraph, we mentioned that prior interactions with the alleged other party
contributes to adultery. And we call this the
'pull' factor. To explain it further, it entices him to commit adultery. Even
in the recent US news [dated Dec 2012], even a
colleague dressing 'provocatively' could make one think about committing adultery.
What about the
'push' factor? Common indicators suggest work-life balance, breakdown of communication
with the spouse, lack of emotional belonging or simply stress (which Singaporean workers
are full of). Without proper emotional stability with your spouse, you will have a higher
tendency to vent your frustrations or devote more time to other people or activities
such as drinking, gambling, finding friends or colleagues for comfort and so on when
spousal/societal stress comes along. Some just fall into adultery given the extra opportunity.
More work, no life = adultery. Spouse doesn't understand = adultery. Spouse has no time
for me and doesn't even care about me = adultery. Baby needs more milk powder and I have
no money = adultery (or gambling depending on the person). With this, we have expounded
on the 3 cheating signs mentioned above.
So if we combine the emotional/societal stress 'push' factor with the I-hang-out-more-with-my-colleague-and-we-understand-each-other-more-than-my-spouse-does
'pull' factor, throw in a bit of Duration, Approach and Opportunity and voila, adultery
And back to the topic title of the Rise of the Cheating Wives, with the explanations in the
previous paragraphs, it is clear that as more women work, they will undoubtedly be exposed
to more stress and more opportunities to interact with people and thus increasing the
rate of cheating in females. Nevertheless, this article also applies to husbands too.
Just that they have been doing it all along and the wives have just joined in the crowd.
As society pressures us towards gender equality and the equality in occupational roles,
we can foresee that these rates might even out to a 50-50 in the far future. And not
just that, we also expect that the numbers of cheating cases will rise higher than before.
So what is it due to now? A lack of moral values? Decline in the significance and reverence
of marriage? Societal stress again? We shall discuss this in a future article.